In The Moment
by carebearsmiles
Summary: I'm trying to be original here people. I will put it on my update list, so review and let me know what you think! College life is exactly what I wanted it to be. I get to be close to my best friend Simon, I get to be out of the house and share a dorm room with my best girlfriend, and I don't have to worry about anything. And then Jon switches colleges.
1. Chapter 1

**College life is exactly what I wanted it to be. I get to be close to my best friend Simon, I get to be out of the house and share a dorm room with my best girlfriend, and I don't have to worry about anything. And then Jon switches colleges to be closer to me and he doesn't approve of the way we've been living.**

 **A one shot of my latest idea, I'm trying to be original here people. I will put it on my update list, so review and let me know what you think!**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare**

 **Rating has not yet been determined so for now it will be rated T**

 **Chapter 1 - Clary POV**

This day is perfect, maybe even more than perfect. The music is pounding in my ears creating an echo throughout the tightly packed room. I have some crazy hot guy behind me with his hands on my hips and his lips on my neck and it's been driving me crazy. I have always been a sucker for dark hair and dark eyes, with a little bit of scruff and huge muscles. Just enough bad boy in one perfect package.

We jump in unison as the songs change multiple times but when my feet get sore, he leads me to some tables in the back. He hands me another drink as we sit down and laugh together.

"Sebastian," he says holding out a hand. I can't hold back my laughter so I just stick my free hand out instead.

"Clary," I say having to put my drink down before I spilled it.

"Well, Clary, I think you're just a bit too drunk right now," he says sliding back in the chair.

"I'm pretty sure that I am the perfect amount of drunk right now," I say smiling wildly instead.

"Yeah but I have this thing," he said leaning in so his elbows rested on the table. "I can't take you home with me because I won't take advantage like that."

"Then let's stay right here," I said matching his pose.

His eyebrows raised and his hand got a little shaky for a second but he recovered gracefully.

"That's an even worse idea," he admitted. "That would just be hot, but I was going to something a little less revealing."

"Chutes and Ladders?" I blurted out sounding like a fucking dumb ass.

"Chutes and Ladders?" He repeated looking as confused as I expected.

"Well if I won't be getting laid tonight, maybe I wanna play Chutes and Ladders," I pouted.

"If that is what the maiden desires then I shall obey," he says holding his hand out to me in a dramatic way. "Would you like to get out of here?"

I took his hand and he led me through the overly packed crowd and into the outside air.

"Can I ask where we're going?" I asked stupidly again.

"Ironically," he said smiling like the devil. "My roommate just got a Chutes and Ladders game over the summer from his little brother. I am escorting you back to my dorm so I can fulfil your desires."

"You just made a children's game sound dirty," I said giggling again.

"It's a talent," he said giggling with me.

Before I could get any words successfully out of my mouth, we were standing in front of a door labeled "Jace and Sebastian".

"Who's Jace?" I asked following him into the abnormally clean dorm room.

"My roommate?" he said laughing at me again but it sounded like a question. "He'll be out all night, probably getting laid by some blonde chick, so we have this place to ourselves."

I laugh again but this time he hands me a bottle of water that I accept with open arms. "I'm so drunk right now."

"Well you might want to sober up just a bit before I kick your ass in Chutes and Ladders," he said taking the game out of the closet labeled "Jace".

"In your dreams maybe," I said right before downing damn near the entire water bottle. He grabs one for himself and takes a few drinks before setting it aside.

"It's gonna happen," he claimed again and this time I just shook my head.

After the next two hours, I have successfully lost three games of Chutes and Ladders and almost rage quitted three times. He was so arrogant I couldn't even handle it anymore. "It's after midnight, you can't be out anymore or you'll get in trouble to breaking cerfew."

"Looks like I am staying here than," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"You can take Jace's bed if you want, or mine with me, whatever," he said stretching his delicious arms above his head. I choose the opposite bed because I didn't trust myself not to try something in this state of mind.

"Goodnight," he said turning off the lights.

These pillows smelled like sunshine and man, it was intoxicating and perfect as I fell asleep.

I love sleeping like a baby, I slept so good last night I never want to open my eyes.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I hear as a stream of light comes into my vision.

Scratch that. I open my eyes so fast it could cause a heart attack.

I hear another voice mumbling something before a second figure makes an appearance. "Whoa now," they say stopping next to my brother.

MY BROTHER?

NO

"Jon?" I ask stupidly.

"You know this guy?" Sebastian asks sitting up in his bed.

"No," I lie.

"YES," Jon interrupts. "She's my little sister Seb!"

He get's up so fast he stumbles out of bed.

"What?" he asks stupidly this time looking at me. I roll my eyes and push the covers off of the bed. The warmness leaves my body as I stand up and face my brother.

"Nothing happened man, I swear," Seb says trying to hold his hands in surrender.

"Clary," Jon says interrupting and pushing Seb aside. "Would you like to tell me why you are sleeping in Jace Herondale's bed?"

"I got tired," I said simply. He gave me that look and crossed his arms at me. "Okay fine, whatever. I went out with Izzy, we got drunk, Seb and I danced, he said "no sex since I'm plastered, and we came back here for Chutes and Ladders. By the time he was done kicking my ass it was after the midnight cerfew so I crashed here."

"Chutes and Ladders," Jon repeats. "You expect me to believe that?"

"It's on the floor ass face, and I am fully clothed," I start but he doesn't back down. "I think the better question is what the fuck are you doing here? It's been like what? Two years?"

"Maybe I wanted to be close to my baby sister again," he said raising an eyebrow at me.

"And you expect me to believe that?" I mocked back at him.

"Hello," we heard from behind us. I turn and give a sarcastic smile at the owner of the voice and almost loose myself when I see him.

 _He's hot as fuck._

"As hot as I think you are right now trying to argue and all," he said and my face flushed a mean shade of red. "I would really like my bed back and a shower." I didn't say anything and neither than Jon. "I'll even say please."

He stared at us and then focused on me. I forced myself not to blush as he looked me in the eyes.

"I'm waiting," I said putting a hand on my hip. He rolled his eyes and leaned against the floor.

"Although I am sure you enjoyed sleeping in my bed and it is almost impossible for you to leave my presence right now, will you please leave so I can have the pleasure of breakfast and a shower?"

"Well if you say it like that," I mock back. I walk right by Jon who was still pretty angry and gave Seb a warm smile before saying, "We should do it again sometime, I want a rematch."

His eyes danced for a second between my smile and Jon's angry stare before deciding his next words.

"Deal."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **I apologize for my absence but it was a crazy busy week for me. Go check out my newest story, You Don't Know, it's finally up, as well as an update for Look Me In The Eyes. I will get Daggered Hearts updated as soon as I can.**

 **As requested, this story has been updated but don't forget to comment about it if you want another chapter. Every story with reviews will be going on an update schedule here soon so if you want this one, let me know. Enjoy!**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare**

 **I decided this story, as well as all of my others, will be Rated M. I apologize if anyone isn't into that stuff but it makes the story so much more intense, so it's happening. Thank you.**

Clary POV

Have you ever seen a guy so hot that you have to take a step back just at the sight of them? Not just like above average hot, like, so hot that you have to take a step back and close your eyes because of the beautifulness coming at you. Out of all of the problems in the world, that is what I have to worry about now.

I thought maybe that I could get off the hook with that night but Jon didn't agree. It was actually the best sleep I've ever gotten - those sheets smelled like heaven and the blankets were perfectly warm. I would never admit it to Jon, but I'd totally sleep in that bed again and risk his wrath all over again. Even if it was Jace Herondale's bed.

Even though it was days ago since my brother rudely interrupted my incredible sleep in that incredible bed, it took me this long to finally get that rematch from Seb. He made his opinion loud and clear that he didn't want me mingling with Jace, even Seb for that matter. Although, that ship sailed already. He's kind of a good friend right now, like a break from Izzy's and Simon's constant silent flirting.

"You're not going to win," he says pulling a double red from the stack of cards. He's sitting on the floor with me with his back against his bed and his legs sprawled out. I lean up on my elbows as I swing my legs behind me with my belly to the floor.

"Arrogant much," I fire back. He smiles perfectly at me with I return with an eyeroll and pick the next card.

"Single yellow," he says with an award-winning grin. I stick my tongue out at him and move my piece.

"I win," he says pulling a double blue from the stack.

"You cheated," I say standing up to my knees.

"Did not," he said remaining just as arrogant as ever.

I threw my head back and grunted at my defeat. I glared at the amused look on his face and grunted again because my defeat brought him happiness.

"This just keeps getting better," I hear from behind me. Seb is on his feet in a second but I roll my eyes instead.

"Dude," Seb said trying to act more casual than he should be.

"What do you want, Jon," I say finally sitting up from the floor.

He crosses his arms so I stand up and do the same. "I was looking for you, Izzy said you'd be here," he said convincingly.

"Well I wanted my rematch," I say pointing to the board game on the floor.

"Is that what people call it these days?" he asks lazily implying a more physical game.

"It wasn't-," Seb tried but Jon cut him off again.

"It will never be," he corrected with such a masculine tone it almost made me vomit.

"Well you're not the boss of me," I shot back. "I'm not 16 anymore, Jon."

Jon looks mildly affected before he straightens his face back out. "I know-."

"If I am going to screw someone you're not going to have a say," I continued.

"Who's screwing?" Jace said walking in with about three other guys.

I tried to look away again but Seb looked horrifically embarrassed.

"You look like you swallowed a tomato, Seb," Jordan joked.

Seb sat down on his bed but I tried to stand my ground.

"No one is screwing," I started. I just love my comeback for this situation and I can't wait to use it.

"That doesn't mean we can't start," he said raising an eyebrow and lifting his chin up at me. Well, there goes my comeback. Why is it that he makes me furious and sexually frustrated at the same time using the same sentence?

I heard a throat clear from behind us and I jerked my head up and forced myself not to let his comment affect me.

"Jon," I said awkwardly.

Jordan lets out a low and incredibly awkward whistle and pats Jace on the shoulder. "I am going to leave now. I have a girlfriend to go tend to." He left so fast the other guys practically got shoved out with him.

Jon shut the door behind them and stood with his arms crossed.

"Did I mean start?" Jace said with an award-winning facial. "I meant _never start_."

Jon makes a sound of disbelief and I roll my eyes.

"I'm not the Virgin Marry, Jon," I said furiously. "I can do whoever I want."

"No," he said. "You can do anyone, _BUT_ him," he says pointing to Jace."

"What's so bad about me?" Jace asks in defense. He looks so damn hot when he's trying to play dumb. Jon glares at him and he shrugs his shoulders instead of defending himself.

"I think you lost the right to control me a long time ago," I said walking straight passed him and up to Jace who was still with shock.

He looked so nervous in this moment, like he's anticipating the kiss that will surely come. We both know this is only going to happen right now because I want to make a point to my over protective older brother, but I can't help but wonder what it feels like to give into desires. I didn't lie, I'm not a virgin. But, my first time was with Simon the summer before our senior year in high school, it was awkward and painful and stupid. The next time I was too drunk to remember it. The last time was with the bartender from our favorite club, and I didn't even catch his name.

It's been a long time since I've been kissed, and even longer since I was the one doing the kissing. In this moment, it looks like Jace is just as nervous as I am, like he wants this to happen but not just to piss off my brother. I keep waiting for his eyes to waiver, for his lips to part and say this is a bad idea, for his body to move away from mine. But it doesn't.

He's still, and his eyes are blown wide, and his lips are patiently waiting for attention. It almost drives me crazy just being this close to him, seeing his every reaction when I move closer and closer. This is the moment, the one that everyone talks about in the stupidly cliché romance movies. Where the eyes meet and your body reacts on instinct. I never thought it was real before. In this moment, I believe it one hundred percent.

And then it comes. I get up on my toes and wrap an arm in his curls with the other one planted on his chest, just above his heart, and I kiss him. His lips are warm and patient with mine, not too fast but not at all the platonic kiss I thought it would be. His hands wrap behind my back, one supporting my weight, the other on my hip. His fingers are as strong as his lips and for a second, while the moment lasts, I forget about Jon and Seb being just feet away from me.

His tongue rolls against mine and that's when I lose the little self-control I have left in me. I nibble his lower lip and his grip tightens on my waist. I could live in this moment forever if it meant being kissed like that.

When he's pulled away it's like all of the wind was ripped from my chest, like I forgot to breathe entirely. My eyes are glued to his, looking for any remints of desire or belonging that I felt in that kiss but he won't look at me. Jon has him pressed against the door so hard it knocked the wind out of him too. His arm is across his chest but Jace doesn't even seem to notice it.

"You don't get to kiss her," Jon said letting his anger take over him. Jace nodded but seemed lost for words. I know Jace's reputation, everyone does, and being lost for words is not on his bad-boy reputation.

"Jon," I said letting myself register what was going on. "Knock it off."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **A chapter 3 has finally been written, I know it's been a little bit but I wanted it to be right. If you don't know, Look Me In The Eyes has been updated also so go check that story out too. I am going to try and update every story once a week now since I have a good schedule going so you have that to look forward too now! I have three stories that all have been added since they all have followers and I can't wait to get them going consistently.**

 **Thank you for all of the support.**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Clary POV**

I am currently sitting at my favorite coffee shop with Simon because Izzy is throwing a tantrum at Jon back in our room. I was trying to help for a little bit but it got kind of awkward when Izzy started talking about the entire 'love' thing so I left as quick as I could.

"Was it really that bad?" Simon asked trying to lighten my mood a little bit.

"I kissed Jace Herondale on the mouth for at least ten seconds just to prove a point to my brother," I said trying not to remember how amazing that kiss felt. "I'd say it's pretty bad."

"What are we going to do for thanksgiving?" He asked again. "Weren't we all going back to your mom's place? Is Jon coming or is he going to your dad's or what?"

"Mom said he was supposed to come with us," I answered leaning back in the chair. "He was also supposed to bring a friend or two but I don't know who."

"You don't think it would be Jace?" he asked.

"I don't think so after this," I said but it was kind of funny. "It's not like it meant anything but I don't see him taking him now."

We laughed and sipped on our drinks for a minute before my phone rang. The caller ID saying 'mom'.

"Hey, mom," I answered.

"Hey sweetheart," she said cheerfully. "Your brother just called, is everything alright?"

"Yeah of course," I say trying to match her cheerful tone. Simon made a face at me and I waived at him.

"He just sounded weird," she said, "But he confirmed he was bringing two people. I was wondering if you had confirmed any friends to come?"

"Izzy and Simon," I said, "Just like every year. Although I might extend the invitation to Izzy's brother if that's okay?"

"He's already coming," she said confused.

"Alec?" I asked equally confused now.

"No, Jace," she said. "Are there two brothers?"

"Yes," I said trying to contain my eye roll. _So close._ "And maybe his boyfriend if they're together."

"We might as well," she answered. "It's not nice to leave out just one sibling."

"That's awesome, thanks mom," I said trying to be excited as I could manage.

"Okay well I am going to go grocery shopping again," she said back to her cheerful self. "Boys eat a lot of food."

"Love you," I said before she returned the love and hung up the phone. Simon looked at me and I grunted in frustration.

"Jace?"

"Has been invited," I finished.

"Who's the other one?" he asked and I realize I didn't ask. I shrugged my shoulders and rubbed my hands through my hair. "This is going to be a long thanksgiving break."

"I know it's not for a few weeks but it might not be all bad," he said defensively. I gave him a questioning look but he only returned my shrug.

"I have homework to do," I said trying to get Izzy off my back. Ever since she heard that I practically made out with Jace she's been up my ass to 'give her every detail'. "I know you're obsessed with my love life but can you give it a rest."

She huffed at me before leaving our dorm room. I tried my best to drown out the sounds around me but every time I tried to focus I just pictured myself standing in front of him waiting to be kissed. My body feels the anticipation and the urge to go find him and I lose all concentration.

I write one sentence out of my entire three-page essay I have due next week before shutting my laptop and giving up. I take out my phone and try scrolling through my contacts. _Is there anyone I can talk to that's not going to question me today?_

My thumb lands on Seb's number and I click on it.

Me: Feel like that rematch?

 **Seb: Love to**

 **Me: Come over with the game**

 **Seb: You don't want to join me here?**

 **Me: Not with my brother floating around**

 **Seb: Fair enough, be right there**

I sigh in relief for the distraction and decide that it would be good to put pants on before a boy comes over. I hear the knock on the door before I can find the pair I want so I yell at him to wait.

"Ok, good," I said sliding them up my legs.

"You okay?" he asked looking at me with a weird look on his face.

"I didn't have pants on," I said taking a spot on the floor.

"You could have left them off," he said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Or not," I retorted.

He looks really good today and way happier than I guy should be so I gave him a look that he shrugged off.

"You look good today," I said and he smiled at me.

"I look good every day," he said trying to play it cool but I can see it.

"What's different?" I asked stubbornly. He tried to look away but I held up.

"I had sex this morning," he said carefully.

"You got laid?" I said and then realized it kind of sounded insulting. I knew he didn't take it like that when he grinned at me.

"I'm a dude," he said pointing to where his abs would be under his shirt. "Dudes get laid, then they feel better for a while, then they go back for more."

I couldn't stop laughing while he set up the rest of the game.

"You got laid," I said again and he laughed this time. "No, no," I said starting again. "You got laid this morning but you're here with me now and not with the chick?"

"It was kind of just a one off I think," he said smiling again.

"Boys and their one offs," I said shaking my head.

He finally had the game board and cards set up. He took the first turn and we played. I was actually winning steadily for the first half of the game which made me smile. It wasn't in the last two curves that he got the cards he needed to win.

"God damn it," I said leaning back in frustration.

Seb was celebrating and bouncing like a kid that get their favorite kind of candy. "I win again."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said crossing my arms.

"I say I get a prize," he said proudly.

"Do you now?" I said trying to keep a straight face at his childish ways.

"You have to go out with me," he said more seriously this time.

"You're serious?" I had to make sure.

"Tomorrow night," he said confidently. "Back at the club. Come dance with me for a while."

"There's nothing else that you could possibly want?" I asked again.

I could hear Jon's voice from outside my door again. "Does he ever leave you alone?"

"No," I said as my door opened with an amused Izzy and a less amused Jon.

"So that's a yes, then?" Seb asked me after Izzy and Jon stopped talking.

"Yes," I said cheerfully just to get on Jon's nerves.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Chapter 4 here we go! If you haven't noticed, two other stories have also been updated tonight so go check them out. Don't forget to tell me what you think, this is a good story but I'm not sure where I want this one to end up yet. Also, if anyone is thinking about doing some beta work, hit me up, I could always use the help. Enjoy!**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Clary POV**

"Was it romantic?" My mom's voice comes from my cell phone. I called her when I woke up to tell her about the date and see what I needed to bring for Thanksgiving.

"He asked me out when he won our Chutes and Ladders rematch, after telling me he was with some other girl the night before," I recounted. She giggled from the other side of the line and I couldn't help but join in.

"I'm sorry, honey," she said between giggles. "That's not really romantic."

"It's not like were going out like that," I said choking on the rest of the humor. "We're going back to the club we met at, it's just dancing."

"Maybe not," she said and I could almost see the seriousness of her words through the phone. "This could be good for you."

"He only did it to piss off Jon," I argued.

"Don't you always do things to piss off Jon?" she asks which enables another round of laughter form me.

"Yeah but this isn't like something real," I argue back. "He's just a friend, mom."

"Okay," she said with all the disbelief in the world. "Well I have to go but call me again before you guys leave."

"Okay," I promise before the line goes dead.

I get myself of bed and pick out the first outfit I can find. Skinny jeans, converse, and a crop top, that matches right?

I put my hair in a bun before checking the clock one more time. _Who ever wants to go to classes?_ I lock my dorm room behind me and tug my bag tight around my shoulders.

It's only a ten-minute walk to my math class and I enjoy every bit of calm weather and small chatter from my surroundings. I love days like this where the campus seems calm and there's no one barging in on me or telling me I have to do things.

Izzy wasn't there when I woke up this morning so I took in the quiet and enjoyed myself. I even had time to play Candy Crush on my phone for a little bit before I called my mom.

There wasn't a line at my favorite coffee cart so I made sure to stop and get a quick cappuccino. The warmness of the cup and the sweet smell of coffee added to the already happy mood I am having.

I got to class with a few minutes left to spare so I played the next level of Candy Crush and sipped my coffee. When the professor shut the door behind him and there were a few groans from around the room, I put my phone away and wrote the date at the top of my notebook paper.

There was a knock from the door but I didn't look up because I had to decide what color pen I was going to use for my notes today. Blue, purple, blue purple. I better go with green. I smile as I uncap my pen and write the heading next to the date.

"Looks like the last seat is back there," the teacher said and I looked up this time. I sit in the back because I like to doodle a lot when I don't feel like paying attention so the only empty seat is next to me.

I look to my right and see Aline Penhollow with her jaw dropped and her chest pumped up. She crosses her legs and tries to compose herself. Just watching her struggle made me laugh.

I followed her eyes to the figure walking over to us but I didn't need an introduction. _Jace._

"This is Jace Herondale," the teacher announced. "He will be joining us from here on out. We all know the other math professor is going to be out of town for the rest of the year so his students have been replaced."

There were noises of appreciation from every row of desks as he walked by them. I noticed everything about him, like my senses were on overdrive. His silky blonde hair and the curves of his cheekbones. My mind goes back to when my hand was in that hair and his hands were on my back. I felt my stomach drop with embarrassment as he took the seat next to me but made no move to look in my direction.

Professor Blackthorn began the lesson for the day and I tried so hard to keep up. My pen was writing everything he was teaching on the board but for the life of me, I was barely paying attention.

 _That kiss felt powerful._

I shook my head slightly and tried to focus on math again.

 _That look in his eyes-_

 _When he pulled me against him_ -

 _When he was pulled away from me-_

I accidentally dropped my pen and I cursed myself that it landed on the wrong side of the desk. I wasn't going to look at him. No matter how much determination it took, I couldn't look at him.

If you can't even look at him now, how are you supposed to spend the entire Thanksgiving break with him there?

I cursed myself again, this time putting my head on my hand so I didn't have to look at my miserable pen.

Professor Blackthorn excused the class and I tried to gather my bag and notebook as slow as I could. I could just buy time until Jace leaves and then go get my pen.

"You dropped this," I hear from in front of me. I look up in astonishment and see Jace holding my green pen up his hand. Most of the class has cleared out by now except for a few girls sending death glares my way for holding up Jace.

"I-," I say but I realize I really don't have a good excuse for dropping it. Dammit. "I'm clumsy and it happens sometimes," I bullshit in hopes that he'll just give me my pen and leave.

"You know," he says leaning over my desk so he's only about a foot away now. "Your brother says you are off limits."

"My bad," I try and say as casually as possible. Instead of him backing off though he leans in closer. Correction, WAY closer, until his hands can lay flat on the desk in front of me. He's about a foot away now but I manage myself.

"You see what he doesn't understand is off limits makes it so much more fun," he says quietly. "And I know you enjoyed that kiss as much as I did."

"You enjoy every kiss," I try and keep casual.

"Not necessarily," he confesses with a shoulder shrug and a smirk. "But I wouldn't mind yours again, that's for sure."

 _I wouldn't mind yours again either._

 _Damn it, stop._

"I have a date with Seb to get to," I say trying to walk around him.

"Maybe I'll see you guys later," he says finally keeping the conversation casual. My inner hormones couldn't take much more of that talk anyways. "We're all going dancing before midterms week."

"Okay," I managed to say without any flicker of emotion.

"But he kicked my ass again in Chutes and Ladders, so I owe him a date."

"You don't owe him anything, Clary," Jace said opening the door for me.

The second the door closed he was gone and I was confused and now a little frustrated.

SO, WHAT? I kissed him, okay? That doesn't mean I knew what I was doing or that it would end up being a good even great kiss. I only did it to get a shot in at Jon, I wasn't supposed to want more.

But he wasn't supposed to flirt with me any more either.

 _I need a drink._


	5. Chapter 5

**It's been long enough, here is your update! I just wanted to thank everyone for the follows on all of my stories, it's so motivating to write again with you guys there to read it. If you haven't yet, all of my stories have been updated this week, as well as a new one shot, Breaking Through. It's a zombie story so if you're into that, go look at that too.**

 **Happy reading everyone.**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Clary POV**

The music is incredible tonight intoxicating even. My high from the bass and perfect lyrics might be more effective than my alcohol induced state. My smile is so numb it might be stuck there until Christmas. My feet have been moving so much I might have calves of steel by morning.

I turn around and put my fists in Seb's shirt. We're both crazy out of breath and mildly sweaty but I can't help but let myself have a good time. He grins and wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me in closer than ever. I let our hips grind, our hands wander, and our brains work at the speed of the bass pounding in the room.

I lost Izzy at some point tonight. I haven't actually seen anyone since we started dancing. I want to think it's a bad thing but I can't bring myself to worry about it; not with a hot guy against me and this music playing.

"I need a break, Clary," Seb breathes heavily in my ear. I smile my own personal teasing smirk and let him lead me to the bar again. It was still loud but it was manageable now. "You can go all night, can't you?" he asked looking slightly amused with himself.

"Is that a challenge?" I say leaning into him because I really am so far drunk right now.

"Is that an offer?" he grins back. It takes me a second but I catch on fairly quickly. He starts laughing and I'm assuming my face gave it away.

My only response is my hand connecting with the back of his head. I can't stop myself from smiling when he orders us another round of shots. We tap glasses and throw them back, it was stronger than I had assumed but I manage myself.

This is when I realized something, something dangerous and mildly nerve-wracking.

"Is this real?" I ask trying to muster up every ounce of soberness I have left in me. His face goes blank for a second and I immediately assumed he was too drunk to answer.

I didn't think he was going to say anything until he started laughing. I furrowed my eyebrows and felt my mood instantly drop. I crossed my arms and tried to keep my fuzzy mind focused.

"You're a good time," he said straightening himself back up. "You're hot, obviously, and you owed me a date." He shrugged his shoulders but the look in his eyes told me he was too drunk to lie to me right now, he might not even remember this. "I'm not really the kind to settle down but we can have a little fun." He tried to put his hands on my hips but I panicked and pushed him back. "What? Now you don't want me?"

"I just thought you wanted more from me," I tried to salvage the conversation but I started to get nervous. I instantly started looking around for Izzy or Jon, just someone but I can't see anyone through the crowd.

"I don't need any more than a good time," he said trying to lean forward again.

"Stop," I said trying to keep myself calm until I could find someone.

I finally saw Izzy out of the corner of my eye but she wasn't paying attention.

"You're fine, Clary," he said gripping my wrist to pull me back in.

"Seb, stop," I said trying to push away again. He had a hold on me.

"I thought you wanted this," he said with every word slurred into the next.

Izzy finally looked over and I tried to waive a hand. It took her a second to break from the crowd and she had a hazed look herself.

"Time to go," she said so clearly that I wouldn't have been able to tell she was drinking.

She put one hand on Seb's shoulder and another on my back. Seb let go and put a sloppy kiss to my cheek before Izzy could get me out of there.

The next thing I knew I was outside. The fresh and cold air triggered something in me and I started crying.

"You okay, darling?" Izzy tried to pat my back but her hand was unsteady.

"I just," I said trying to catch my breath. "I need," I tried again but I couldn't control it.

"Hold on," she said sprinting back through the door.

I fell against the wall and the cold brick against my bare back was shocking. I put my hands into my hair and tried to keep myself upright.

"Clary," I hear again, this time the voice is clearly sober and worried. I opened my eyes and saw Jon standing in front of me. He looked so angry but he was, in fact, sober.

"She's having a panic attack," Izzy said leaning against the wall to keep herself poised.

"Go get Jordan," Jon said to Izzy and then looked at me. He pulled my hair out of my face and held my hands to my sides. "Clary, I need to breathe sweetheart. It will pass but you need to calm down before you pass out." I tried to nod but I started coughing. The air in my lungs started to burn and I felt another round of tears pass.

"I couldn't find Jordan so I got Jace," Izzy said coming back through the door. _No, no, no._ I tried to shake my head. _I don't want him to see me like this._

"What the hell?" I heard another voice.

"It's a panic attack," Jon said but I couldn't make out their voices as well anymore.

"What happened though?" It was Izzy this time. "They were fine just 10 minutes ago."

Jon stepped aside and I saw Jace through the blurriness in my vision.

He took my hands and put them on his chest. I know I should have, but I couldn't take my eyes off of them. It didn't make any sense to me but I needed to calm down before it was too late.

"Clary," he said putting his arms around to my back. _Was he giving me a hug_? His voice was low and while he wasn't sober, it was soft. "Listen to me," he said again. I couldn't catch my breath but he was so warm. He smelled so familiar. "I'm going to tell you a short story," this time I could feel his breathing on my ear and it made me think twice about him being so close to me.

My eyes closed as my head hit his chest and I noticed I was shaking really bad. "Imagine a bird, one like a falcon almost. No one knew it was blind but it was so careful and delicate. One day, it was trying to feed but kept on missing the food right in front of him. So, someone decided to pet its feathers and feed him by hand until it calmed down. It ate an entire meal before it was full. They thought they had done a good thing, they helped an animal in need but they didn't see what was really wrong." Jace paused and I felt his chest catch for a second before he continued. "The next day, they woke up and prepared another meal for the bird but he was gone. They never saw it again."

"Jace, that story sucks," I heard clearly from Izzy leaning on the wall by us. He didn't say anything to her.

"It wasn't an accident," he continued, "it was a lesson. Not to love anything or anyone that would leave you. Not to be the first one to love, because it would mean the first one to be hurt."

"That story really does suck," I whispered with a little giggle of my own. I'm still a little drunk. Jace's chest moved like he laughed himself a little too.

His arms moved from around me and he took a step back. I was still looking at him in the eye but his eyes weren't the same this time. The second I caught a glimpse of something there, he was turned the other way and checking on Izzy.

Jon gave me a hug and patted my back a few times. "How did you know how to do that?" Jon was asking Jace but he avoided the question with ease.

"We should get them home," he replied instead.

I laid in bed as quietly as I could. Izzy passed out the second her head hit the pillow and Jon insisted on staying on our floor tonight in case we needed help.

The thought of having Jon back after so long made me happy. I never really talked about my brother much. Some people knew that I had one, but nothing about him. I certainly never thought he was going to be back in my life any time soon.

I smiled just thinking about having Jon stay close by for a while. I can't help but hope he'll stick around until we graduate but we still haven't talked since the night he left. That was a moment that I tried so hard to forget. I don't think I could've finished my last year of high school without Izzy and Simon there to catch me.

Thinking back, I never met her brothers before this year. I always knew she had them but they didn't go to the same school as us.

I store my thoughts away for another night and close my eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **I know it's been a while, with my unplanned haitus and all, but I didn't have inspiration for this story. I'm working on this chapter but it might be a little bit, I just wasn't sure the direction I wanted this one to go in. I am sure, however, that you will be happy with it, because otherwise it would be boring.**

 **Clary POV**

Waking up this morning was singlehandedly the most painful thing I have done all year. I chose not to open my eyes for at least ten minutes after I woke up in protest of that damn sunlight.

I let out a horrifically unattractive and animalistic growl when I finally rubbed my eyes open. I heard a small laughter from the other side of my door. Me, being the perfect adult, threw my pillow at the door as hard as I could.

"Clearbear?" I heard my brother say from behind the door.

"What?" I growled again.

"I'm coming in," he said sliding into the small room and closing it behind him. I sent a glare his way and he held his hand up in surrender. "I come bearing poptarts," he said pushing the silver package in my face.

I grabbed the package and hummed in appreciation as I ate it.

"You can stay," I said finally causing Jon to grin back.

"I can stay because I came with food?" he asked mocking hurt.

"Not for very long, you didn't bring coffee too," I commented back. He laughed but I was totally serious.

"Mom's worried about you," he said quietly.

"YOU CALLED MOM?" I practically screamed the food that I wasn't done chewing back in his lap.

"I'm not keeping secrets this time," he shrugged back. I can't blame him now he's not wrong. Keeping secrets is what got us in plenty of messes last time we were together.

"She said to call her when you're fully awake," he continued. He almost looked nervous. "I, uh, beat the shit out Sebastian and got suspended for a few days."

This time I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you," I said slightly more okay with the situation.

"He deserved it," Jon said matching the grin I felt on my face. He scratched the back of his neck, which he's done out of nervous habit since he was little and tried to look away.

"What else is it?" I asked crossing my arms. My brother is the worst liar in the world.

"I invited Jace to come with us for thanksgiving," he said losing the previous confidence he had a moment ago.

"Okay," I said.

"He's actually been kind of helpful lately," he said taking a pause to roll his eyes. "Never mind your mini make out session with him. So, I figured it couldn't hurt to pay him a 'thank you' trip."

"It's fine," I said instead of trying to argue.

"And, uh," he said scratching his neck again. I raised my eyebrows in an attempt to get him talking. "I don't know what really went down, but I want you to know that you can talk to me."

"I know I can," I said tilting a smile on my face to make it believable. _He doesn't know the half of it_.

"And Jace wants to talk to you," he blurted out next.

"Why?" I blurted before I completely thought it through.

"I'm not sure, I think he just wants to make sure you're okay," he said shrugging. "Seb was a good friend to the team. It's not like anything really happened but he made you more than uncomfortable that night, even triggered a panic attack. I guess no one's happy with him right now."

He was rambling. He only rambles when he's nervous.

I roll my eyes for my brothers lack of hiding any emotions from me and I stop him.

"I'll be okay," I said confidently. "He was under the influence, majorly. I'm sure he's not coming around anytime soon but I'm glad I have you to protect me."

He gave me a protective smile and a small hug. "I really do miss you."

"I miss you too, big brother," I said.

It didn't fix things, not by a long shot. But when I needed him, he was there for me. That's a good start, right?

"You can send Jace in now," I said finally.

After ruffling my hair like a toddler and laughing at me, he left me by myself. It was only a few seconds, so Jace was probably waiting outside.

He closed the door behind him but didn't turn around. His hand was stuck on the doorknob for a long moment before I visibly saw his shoulders relax.

"Jon said you wanted to talk to me?" I asked trying not to sound different.

He turned around at that moment. He didn't at all look like the Jace I saw the first day I met him. It took a second, but he put a purely fake smile on and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Just wanted to make sure you're okay," he said a little too quickly.

"Do you have a problem with sitting with me?" I said pointing to the space Jon was just taking up on my bed. His arms flexed for a second and I almost regretted asking him to join me. He shuffled over and sat down, but he didn't look at me.

"I'm okay," I said finally. "Thanks to you."

"I just told a story," he mumbled, "you did the hard work."

"About that story-," I tried to ask.

"What about it?" he was clearly trying to blow off the question. Too bad I'm too stubborn for that.

"Where did it come from, I've never heard it before," I asked as gentle as I could.

He stared at the floor for another minute, this time without the fake smile and or cocky eyebrow raise he usually wears. Just a blank face.

"Are you okay?" I ask again. "You just kind of got all mopey on me…"

"Fine," he said looking up again.

"Where did that story come from, Jace?" I ask again but this time I just got a tilted smile.

"That can be a story for a different day," he said smoothly. "I just wanted to come and check on you."

"I'm not going to stop asking," I said stubbornly. He flashed a real smile for a second before adjusting it to his normal confident look.

"Looking forward to it," he said standing up to leave.

"That's all?" I asked standing up next to him. "You came all the way over here, risking my brother's wrath, and all you wanted was to ask me if I'm okay?"

"Yup," he said simply.

"Jon would have relayed that message to you," I tried to argue.

"You think I have an ulterior motive?" he asked taking a step forward.

I noticed instantly. Every snarky comment I had melted away with one simple move.

"Yes," I said because it was the last word I could think of.

"You're not wrong," he said finally.

His face screamed confidence but his eyes read insecurities. _Jon does that too_ , was the only thing I could think of.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I found myself asking.

He huffed out a breath and shoved his hands to his sides.

"I'm glad you're okay," he said blankly. He backed up to the door and flashed one last smile. "Let me know if you need anything," he said politely.

* * *

"Izzy, I'm telling you," I said for the thousandth time since we've been alone in our room. Simon sits on Izzy's bed reading something on his phone instead of listening to our gossip.

"I just don't believe it," she said in exaggeration.

"He was weird!" I huffed in defeat. "He was distant, like he was trying to hide something!"

"Jace doesn't open up to people," she said like it was a forgotten truth. "He just never has, not even to Alec and I."

"I'm not lying," I said stubbornly.

"Maybe it is true," she said slowly. "Maybe, just maybe, Jace really was worried about you. That would be the first time in his life he's ever gone out of his way for a non-family female. You should feel proud."

"Or he was playing you," Simon pitched in from his corner.

"Or not," Izzy shot back. "I guess the only one that would know for sure is Jace."

"That's terrifying," Simon butted in again.

"Shut up, Si," she said stubbornly. "I like to think there is still hope for my brother."

"Wasted hope," he said crankily one last time.

She met him with a glare worthy of an award.

"It's not like he has the best track record, Iz," Simon justified. "I don't want what happened with Seb to happen again. He started off a really decent guy too."

"Jace knows better than to push a girl against her will," Izzy retorted.

"Your right," Simon said putting his hands up in a mock surrender. "But it's not like he deals a lot with rejection either."

I couldn't help but snicker at that. Izzy seemed to be stuck for a moment. I have to give it to Simon to give Izzy a run for her money, he's either really good or really dumb at this point.

* * *

I took my towel dried hair from my well-needed shower and laid it flat behind me. It felt really nice to wash away the last 36 hours. I decided after today, it was probably best to just go to bed. No one else seemed to have any decent suggestions and we have to be in classes tomorrow. At the very least, I would like to not look like a walking zombie because of sleep deprivation. Not only did I not know what to do about Jace right now, but I don't know what to do with myself either.


End file.
